it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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