I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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