Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
