i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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