apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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