Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
