Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize