Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
