So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
