this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
