So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
