i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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