me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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