buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
