I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
