Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
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when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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