is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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