My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
