marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
