she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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