3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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