tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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