Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
