DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
