And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
