So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
