Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
