Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize