The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize