Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
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