So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
