so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
