i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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