He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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