i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
