FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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