the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
