HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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