loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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