I wish I could teleport
kristin has been a bad kristin
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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