bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
