Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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