doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
