I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
