i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
