What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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