My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
