yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
