she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
