AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
