The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
