Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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