I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
