...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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