Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is Oprah even human
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
