Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
