so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
