I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
