This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize