just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
