Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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