Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
my liver is dry heaving
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
