I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you will always have a special place in my vag
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
A+ Viking dick
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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