I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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