Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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