Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
